August 17, 2018 Print

For the first time ever, Atlas Network fielded a softball team in the Think Tank League of Washington, D.C. With over half the team never having played before, it seemed as though our team — Batless Network — may become the #WinlessNetwork. 

But two weeks ago, the team's bats came alive on a sleepy, mid-August evening just off the Potomac. In a heavyweight bout against the Department of State's Bureau of Western Hemisphere Affairs, Batless Network entered the game in force, notching 5 runs in the 1st inning. When we scored more runs in the 1st inning than we had in several total games, combined with the defense holding the other team to 3 runs in the bottom of the 1st, we knew that maybe—just maybe—magic was brewing. All told, the curse of the #WinlessNetwork was broken with a final score of 15-5.

The origin of the team name came from the fact that when we registered to field a softball team, no one owned a bat — or really even a glove. That changed when Team Equipment Manager and Batless Network Hall of Fame Honoree Kristina Crane leapt into action, providing the team with the tools it needed to succeed.

"I started the Clark for President, Libertarian Party and Cato Institute's softball teams — so, I thought, "Why not Atlas Network?" said Crane. "Well, half the team had never touched a bat, a third had tried little league and the rest were semi-experienced. Didn't matter. We shared more enthusiasm, joy and team spirit with our Batless Network team as any Caps fan could even dream of. And, we even won two games! Caleb and I are excited for spring training and have some great ideas for fall and winter activities. Team Atlas Network!"


Celebrating the end of a successful season by dumping gatorade on team manager Caleb Sachs — with unintended collateral damage!

Then last night came an historic rout of the Washington Institute, with every member of the team batting in runs — several of them coming in home runs. That game proved that not only could Batless Network lose with class, we can also win with it. In this its biggest win, Batless Network continued to be the team that has the most fun throughout the entire season. Always cheering and laughing, no matter what the scoresheet had on it. In the end, we finished the season 2-6-1 (with those two wins coming at the end of the season).

"With Batless Network's bats finally coming alive, we may need to consider a name change next season," said team manager Caleb Sachs.